Personal

Hello 2020, it’s me.

I haven’t posted an entry here for a long time. I’ve found that I’ve often resorted to typing textwalls and blogs on Facebook, and it’s getting a bit wordy/annoying for people’s feeds. So it may be best to go back to blogging and write about my life and experiences here.

So what’s new?
Since I left my retail management position in 2018, I’ve been going along a path of discovering neurodiversity. It’s been a rough, but very necessary road to travel. Imagine living your entire life and judging yourself by a manual for an alien race. You end up wondering why you’re not able to meet the expectations of others. When you set up life expectations based on what should be possible and you fail repeatedly, it can become very distressing.

I’ve decided that I’m going to use this blog to write more about my own neurodiversity. The world needs more of our voices. I think it’s imperative to share them.

If others can avoid some of the pain I’ve went through, it will make everything worthwhile.

2020 and Covid
This year and the pandemic has been rough for everyone.

I’m 99% sure I contacted Covid in late February and early March as it began sweeping through my area undetected. It was a weird experience for me. I didn’t feel particularly ill, just off. At first, I’d lost my sense of taste and smell. At the time, this was not a known symptom. Everything tasted bitter or burnt and I couldn’t smell anything. Then I started developing a small cough, but I’m always coughing a bit due to allergies, dust, irritants, and living with second-hand smoke for 28 years of my life.

Later, I had a very low-grade fever. It was enough to know I was feverish, but not enough to feel ill. I had some digestive issues. Then I became a little light-headed and winded. I felt a light pressure on my chest. It was almost like wearing a corset. I could still breathe, but I felt a bit tight and constricted.

When I called around to get a test, they weren’t offering tests to anyone who had mild symptoms.

I never got a test, and antibody tests were only available after I was furloughed. So I couldn’t afford it.

It’s been a rough time. I’ve been passing this year by playing Animal Crossing, learning a few new art mediums, getting back into music, writing, learning more. I’m trying to keep my mind busy, so I don’t fall down the rabbit-hole of anxiety and panic.

Otherwise, I’m alive. I’m thankful that thus far, I haven’t lost anyone. My husband’s been doing well enough in his job. I paid off my major debts prior to Covid, and I’m just living off my savings I’d been putting back for a Japan trip. I’m nervous about trying to go back to work, so I’m looking for alternatives using my art and design skills. Fingers crossed there.

Plans for this blog
Like I said above, I want to start using this blog to write more about my experiences. I’m going to try to write a new blog entry every week. I know I don’t have many visitors, if any at all, but I hope that will grow eventually.

December-rain.org has been a personal place of self-expression on and off since 2002. So I’d like to keep that going.

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